couch

i bought a couch at goodwill yesterday and it is the best $22 purchase i've made in a long time. 

at the store, i didn't even think about if i had enough room for it in my room.

when i got home, i was willing to move everything around so that i had room for my couch.

i didn't care what i had to do because i just loved that couch so much.

what if we thought of Jesus like that?

what if we were so radically in love with Jesus that we didn't care that we had to rearrange our lives or take pieces out to make room for Him?

it's pretty easy to say, but it took all of my strength to move around pieces of furniture. it was time-consuming and labor-demanding and i loved the set-up of my room almost as much as i loved the couch...almost.

for some people, it is the time it takes to change, for others-the effort. most of the time, our resistance to change comes from our comfort and familiarity in our current situation or the fear that the change may not be for the better. sometimes, we just like the way our lives look now. any way, i think we can all agree that it's much easier to stay the same than to change.

but if we put Jesus at the center of our lives, despite the cost, the outcome will be better than all we could ask or imagine.

haircut

in august, i got my first haircut in over a year. my hair was all sorts of damaged and in need of some serious TLC. it had been that way for about ten months now, but i still had no desire to fix it. ONE) i was able to recognize that i wasn't taking care of my hair, but i didn't want the hairdresser to call me out or judge me for it. TWO) hair dressers like to cut. the thought of me not having control of the scissors drives me absolutely insane, because sometimes i forget that they're professionals and usually know whats best for my hair before i do.

sound familiar?

we are inadequate. we are sinners. we are not worthy of His love and grace and mercy. but Our God is so loving and His LOVE covers all imperfections and sins, and we can delight in the fact that we are ALL made whole in His love, no matter who you are or what you've done because of who He is and what He has done. God doesn't judge us when we bring Him the broken pieces or messes of our lives, because He specializes in fixing brokeness and cleaning messes. He wants us to have great lives, but the only way to do that is acknowledge the damage and ask for His help: "but if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5.

God created us and lined up our days. He knows what's best for us because He is the author of our lives. there is no way better than His way. sometimes, it's hard to trust Him because we have an idea of how our lives should look. but God has so much more for our lives than we could ever ask or imagine. and it usually looks nothing like how we thought it would. God is the professional, and He knows what doors to close. it is up to us to let Him have control of the steering wheel, because HE won't lead us the wrong way.//10.2.14

masterpiece

a painting isn't praised for being a painting, the artist who created it is.

in ephesians 2:10, God calls us His masterpiece:

"for we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Jesus Christ, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."

if we are God's masterpiece, we shouldn't receive the praise for the gifts God gave us--He should//8.12.14

oceans

i spend a lot of time at the beach. i also spend a lot of time with preschoolers. when i talk to preschoolers, i have to speak in a way that they can understand and relate to. it takes thought and energy, but i love preschoolers, and i want to be able to communicate with them. that's how God is with us. He loves us so much that He's willing to "dumb down" His language into a language we speak. like i said, i love the beach, and last summer God used the waves to really reveal Himself to me.

i'm still five years old ((at heart at least)) so i was playing in the waves. i kept trying to jump over them and go against the breakers. i made no progress, even a little further back than i had started, but i had wasted a lot of energy and time going against them. in the end, the only way to get anywhere is to surrender to the waves, and sometimes the direction we end up going in is the direction we we're fighting against in the first places. god really used this to speak to my heart about His will for my life.

i have this really clear memory of the umbrella my family used at the beach when i was little. why? because i had to search for it a lot. when i got lost, i knew to go back to the umbrella, that i would be safe at the umbrella, that somebody was waiting for me at the umbrella. this taught me 1. we need to be familiar with God to be able to seek Him in stressful times. 2. we need to know that we can run to Him, no matter how far we've run or how lost we've gotten.

i surf. a lot of times, i find myself waiting for a wave and watching waves crash all around me, but not coming my way. God used this situation to speak to my competitive spirit, and tell me that while there are waves around me, i need to fix my eyes on the horizon and look for the one only i can ride. i see the  same sort of things happen in real life--God working so obviously in and through a certain person or God's plans unfolding perfectly in their lives and wondering, "why not me?" i also realized that sometimes we are on the wave, and we don't realize that other people are watching and asking themselves the same question.  everyone's walk with Christ is different, and we need to focus on our own or we might miss our wave.

with my toes in the sand, i watched all of the  water be pulled towards the ocean, and then a wave crash. it reminded me of the lesson of the arrow: when you pull an arrow back, it launches it even further forward. this is really easy to forget in a time when we are being pulled back, but we have to remember that the outcome will be so much bigger and better.

thank you for reading this small novel. i hope the Lord uses my experiences to speak to you//8.2.14

isaiah 43

isaiah 43 is probably one of my favorite passages in the bible--so much truth and encouragement.

right now, i'm kind of meditating on verse two:
"when you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
when you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."

what a promise!! see, but God doesn't promise us that we will have an easy life; we are undoubtedly going to have to "pass through rivers" and "walk through fire," but we have Him. He is our provider, our protection, and Father.

as i'm sitting here writing this, God said to me, "there won't always be a clear path, but i'll show you the way."

in deuteronomy 31:8, we are promised that "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

while that is really comforting, it makes me WANT to go out of my comfort zone. 

how different would our lives me if we really claimed that promise and lived our lives knowing that He had gone before and was always with us?//9.2.14

lasts

lasts suck.

i didn't know that june fifth would be my last day saying "have a nice day" to my bus driver of three years, or the last time i would sit down at the soa cafeteria table closest to the door.

but i guess that's what makes life special.

the fact that there is a small percentage that the breath i'm breathing right now could be my very last not only terrifies me, but also makes me want to cherish it.

and lasts make way for firsts.

the first ray of sunshine wouldn't happen if not for the last raindrop. the last day of school is what makes the first day of summer special.

lasts are inevitable--everything is temporary.

we can celebrate the last of a storm, but even the good things are finite, so we have to cherish them, whether it be a person or a thing or just a moment.

and lasts are for the best.

romans 8:28 promises us that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

one thing i've learned is that God doesn't close doors on good opportunity, and that was most definitely learned from experience.

what is meant to be will be, as long as we put God in charge. He promises us in jeremiah 29:11 that He has a plan for us, and if that isn't comforting enough, He tells us that it is to prosper (not to harm) us, and to give us a hope and a future.

lasts are a part of our story, not the end, and they always bring firsts, allow us to cherish what we have, and bring hope in the midst of hard times//7.10.14

circumstances

          The Lord tells us in Esther that He has called us "for such a time as this."  My "this" happens to be in the midst of a rough year ((tests and friendship problems and family stuff, oh my!)).  Really, God?  I kept telling myself, "next year," as in next year, when I'm in high school, I'll make good, lasting friendships; next year, I'll be apart of Your plan.  Middle school just isn't my time".  Well...God wasn't a fan of that particular plan, and He made sure to make me aware of that.

          Maybe it was the extra hour-and-a-half of sleep I was blessed with through a faulty alarm clock, but I walked into school with a new set of eyes. I realized that circumstances aren't the enemy. We can waste our whole life trying to wait our circumstances out or attempt to change them, when really, He puts us into these situations to draw us closer to Him and shine His light.
          Earlier this year, God used a series of extremely difficult events to bring me closer to Him, and now He is working through me to bless others around me.  Today, I subconsciously found myself holding doors, complimenting strangers, and volunteering to help people out--whether it be buying their lunch or carrying their bags.            
          Middle school is a hormone jungle and people are flat out mean.    While this isn't an enjoyable experience for anyone, that is all the more motivation to shine His light to others.  I once heard a quote, While you're waiting for God to open the next door, praise Him in the hallway.  Right now, my hallway is literally hallways, and for my "such a time as this," I will utilize it to bring God glory and make the best of it//3.24.14